Terrified really.
Sure I approach the upcoming days with excitement and with enough surge of energy that keeps me smiling northward.
But deep down, there is that teensy fear of the unknown and the plethora of what-ifs that I question myself (what if i don't do well, what if I cant figure out the way to do essays/ research, what if i go there and realize its all not what im looking for, what if i go and feel miserable there, what if i fail?)
And when you meet people, they say they are excited for you, saying you'll have so much fun, you'll find myself and I get swept up again in that burst of energy and positivity... but when it simmers down and I''m left there, standing in the middle of the mall thinking what the hell do I need to get to be prepared for this trip, realizing you have no list, no plan, no freaking clue what to expect.... that's when the first onset of fear passes through me and a shiver starts running up my spine.
Sure I approach the upcoming days with excitement and with enough surge of energy that keeps me smiling northward.
But deep down, there is that teensy fear of the unknown and the plethora of what-ifs that I question myself (what if i don't do well, what if I cant figure out the way to do essays/ research, what if i go there and realize its all not what im looking for, what if i go and feel miserable there, what if i fail?)
And when you meet people, they say they are excited for you, saying you'll have so much fun, you'll find myself and I get swept up again in that burst of energy and positivity... but when it simmers down and I''m left there, standing in the middle of the mall thinking what the hell do I need to get to be prepared for this trip, realizing you have no list, no plan, no freaking clue what to expect.... that's when the first onset of fear passes through me and a shiver starts running up my spine.
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