Keeping it Simple

Sorry bout all the previous posts regarding my fixation on returning back to Singapore. It really means a lot to me I suppose, and it is really something I can honestly say I truly want and wish for. Other than a certain Mr. J, I have never wanted something so badly that I can cry and have no qualms spending money and energy just to get it.

The law of time relativity by Newton is something I see in a different light. I do not need experiments, empirical evidence to back up the theory, all I need is look back at the past 3 months in Hong Kong and I would exclaim, "time has passed by very fast". And I can look at the time from now until next Saturday when I return and say with the same conviction; "time sure is passing by real slowly". In truth, we are moving at the same time (mass and velocity remains the same) and this is definitely not what Newton meant by absolute motion... but like I said, this is how I define it.

I went to Yunnan for my YEP (Youth expedition Project) during freshmen year. I had a glorious time with many memories, took loads of pictures and did a hell lot of stuff. I went and came back for three weeks. 18 days is quite a long time isn't it? And yet, strangely, it felt that the minute we touched down on Singapore ground, everything reverted back to what it originally was and the trip became more of a dream, a phase. It did not last. After a weeks of returning, the team received an email from one of the members and he wrote, "its like we went to sleep, had a dream and 18 days later, we were back." And he commented on how everything is fleeting and there’s a high chance that we would never keep in touch (which remains true) but just the memories that we have, though tainted and though imperfect is beautiful, it would be enough.

I try to remember what I have done for the past 3 months and strangely, despite all my grumbles and all my whining and my bitterness in my blogs about Hong Kong, I cant seem to recollect a sad memory or a day which I felt miserable and dreadful. I can somewhat place the times where I have cried but it was often not because of Hong Kong but rather how much I missed Singapore and my "squabbles" with Jiang on issues that would have risen even if I were back home. I can recall those times I truly felt that I have nothing to do and wasted my time in the office by occupying myself with blogs and videos. But there are more images of me having fun, trying new food, laughing with my roommate, shopping, yoga, happy being on my own than these "less than positive" memories.

I think, after looking back after 3 months of "tiresome ordeal", I can finally see that I did quite a substantial amount of stuff here and though HK didn’t turn out the way I thought it would, it still... didn't quite sucked. I spoke to Shu fen over lunch the other day and we were sort of summarizing up our experiences here. Truth be told, we may not feel like we benefited from it, but I strongly believe that these memories would last us for a very long time and It would definitely help us. The influence of Hong Kong would certainly prevail in our CVs and in our next jobs and well, as mentioned before, we didn't sign up for this just for the working experience, it was for the entire out-of-work experience we thought of too. Living alone, traveling alone, staying with a roommate, expenses, working overseas, handling a long distance relationshhip etc. I think im grateful for the memories i have been given, one that most people would never understand until they are put into my shoes.

Truly, I don't consider it a waste of my time. And as for regrets, its still too early to tell.