Work is going great! (ish)

After my second shadowing session, my manager approached me and asked me if I want to do up the report. Me? And being here for only 7 days? Well sure, why not. I'm never one to shy away from a challenge. So took a crack at it before running off for more meetings and a night out with friends. Came back home a little tipsy and mentally exhausted and continued again when I got to work this morning. Before I got in the mood of things, swept away once again by more meetings, more sideways discussions and then lunch. Dedicated the afternoon to it and I managed to finish it, edit it and sent it in by 5pm. And then I was off again for after-work drinks before finally returning back home at 10pm. My diary for tomorrow, same thing, more shadowing, more report writing and more dinners. So here's the puzzling fact...people around me were full of praise "Wow, you manage to write a report finish in such a short time, wow you squeezed in so many social events doing this, wow you're doing so many things" and truthfully, if I was younger, I would be pretty much patting myself on the back too. But here's the funny thing:

I don't like it.

Oh don't get me wrong, I am excited by the whole learning a new skill, being in a session and using your mind constantly, meeting new people, I am not regretting my decision so far.. I can write down a whole bunch of what I like and when people ask me, I put on my biggest genuine smile, nod my head vigorously and say its going great! And it is going great.. but here are the things I don't tell people because its so small and really doesnt matter too much...

I do not like my lunches now are quick and easy and my dinners are the same.

I do not like that I leave parties early because I have lesser tolerance for making small conversations. Do you not find most people only say what they think is politically correct or interesting but never having any deep or meaningful conversations?

I do not like to juggle between two iPhones

I do not like that I will not get paid this month because the company forgot to inform me I needed a National Insurance number.

I do not like taking the bus to work and back every single day because I have been too busy to figure out how to walk to a tube.

I do not like that my oyster card now needs to be topped up every week instead of every month.

I do not like that my social life is going to shrink very drastically once my friends all fly off.

I do not like wearing leggings or heels and coming back with sore feet.

I do not like that when I come home, I'm too tired to pick up the clothes, read a book or clean the house and I know things are just going to keep getting messier and dirtier

I don't like that when I come back home from work, my mind is reeling because I'm still emotionally and mentally connected with the client interview, thinking of them, empathizing with them, feeling what they went through...

And...

I absolutely hate that I couldn't squeeze any time to write back an email to my boyfriend. Or can't reply immediately to him on whatsapp when the window of time we can actually talk to each other is so limited and we always seem to just miss each other by minutes. I hate that I can't talk to him properly, I don't like coming back to an empty house or an empty bed and I don't like this long distance relationship thing. Maybe we just haven't gotten used to it or that we havent found a way to make it easier, still doesnt stop me from not liking it.

I know I'm being a child now and I'm just annoyingly stamping my feet at what I do not like instead of looking at things positively. I do like work, I do like the new experiences but there are these little things that you only feel after work, after the office suit gets peeled away and you're lying in bed thinking of all these small, seemingly insignificant things.