I think my sis has always been there for me and for so long, she's always been the one i run to when i have troubles. When im feeling down or confused, she'll always hear me out and tell me what to do (when she knows the answer) and she's just you know... always been the "stable one".
So now, when everything's reversed and for once, she just needs what she has always given to me from me... i cant do it, i feel helpless and hopeless and feel even worse when i seem to alleviate her pain. I feel so young and inept when it comes down to consoling her. Things i would do for my my friends just seems so inadequate for her...
And then there's everything i have done (or not done) for her which puts me into this guilt trip...
i guess, all i want to say is, Jie, i really love you and i know i dont show it sometimes... its just because... i honestly take you for granted and thats my fault. I guess, when you've been with someone for so long and they've always been there... u seem to think them as a constant, "stable constructs" and not variables... but, thats wrong of me and im truly sorry.
I love you more than anyone else and sometimes all you want is a listening ear because you've been my listening ear for all these years... all i can say is... i havent had much experience at this department of being a sister because you hardly come to me when you have troubles... so give me time, im still learning and i do want to learn =) and hopefully, one day... i can finally be a good consoler for you...
With regards to your dilemma you're facing... there IS alot to be think through and there are MANY factors to consider. And i cant help you but provide you with this...
"Cast your cares upon the Lord, and he will sustain you, he will never let the righteous fall" Psalm 55:22
1 comment:
Erm.. i would have preferred it if you said all that in a PRIVATE email to me. But.. =)See, im impossible to please!
When we doing our lunch/dinner/whole day thing?
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