help me

help me?

I just came back from HongKong with my sis and my mum. can't say i had a great time and cant say i had a bad time either. It just didnt start out well but im glad i got the time and opportunity to hang out with the two dearest person in my life.

Bought alot of clothes and spent a relatively large amount of money. but i thought it was all worth it cause basically, i have been saving up for this trip. Now i need to prepare for my next trip next thursday which is for Australia. I guess i'll print out the budget and the timetable and the schedule so we would know if anything goes wrong.

Sigh, seems like when i do have time alone and just when i told myself and reassured myself that im all right, it turns out, im not all that all right after all.Why do i stilll have that empty wave of loneliness waffed back to me? why do i still yearn the company of others? why am i not satisfied with myself for being alone? why cant i just be with me?

am i really that dependent on others? i thought i was strong enough to survive on my own. i can do it but i dont want to. is can and will too big a difference that i cannot rectify?

the people that i think about are strange people who do not have the slightest or the remotest idea about me? i am in love with complete strangers.