Perhaps... only after being alone by yourself for so long do u get a glimpse of who you really are?
I suppose... my desire to return back to my apartment everyday after work and not really go out shopping is a signal that im more introverted than i think i really am. Or maybe its just the fact that there's really nothing to do, there's no one you want to meet and there's also not much money for me to spend on either.
Sometimes, i do get the feeling that maybe im just wasting away my overseas internship experience. Because the idea of you staying in a foreign country implies that you need to immerse yourself in the culture and go out and "experience Hong Kong". Im not doing any of that, im content to go home, surf the net, curl up with a book and fall asleep and repeat the same cycle of struggling to go work every morning. But i'd like to ask whoever came up with the notion to "immerse yourself in the culture"... by what means do u accomplish that? What sort of checklist do i require for me to confidently say... "yes i know what its like to live and work in Hong Kong"?
Its puzzling aint it... when people just throw phrases at you..."get out and enjoy!"...
1. Get out to where?
2. Enjoy what?
Can anyone be specific?
What is the HK experience exactly? Is it not enough that i learn how to wash my clothes, pay my rent, move around the country, obtain certain hobbies over here? Must i... as some people see it... go shopping everyday, go clubbing every week, go travelling at least once every 2 weeks?
If i am to copy what the Hongkongers do... i am sure my current lifestyle echoes their behaviours more than doing what i have mentioned above... Its almost as if people expect me to pack my 4 months here by accelerating and jamming activities that hongkongers do in their 5 years of living in HK.
So we need to ultimately return to the fundamental question... am i happy and am i satisfied with how im living now?
Funny how it seems everything is as simple as that and the question repeats itself in HK, in Singapore, anywhere. Maybe in truth... i was never happy to begin with hence, even the change of environment cannot bring me solace nor happiness until i finally deal with the internal sadness i face.
To which presents yet another slippery slope... "why do i get upset?" But here we are straying away from the topic at hand... what else is needed of me, what else do i need to do to take in Hong Kong's culture?
As much as i would like to deny it... the reason why i am doubting myself so much might be accrued to the fact that my attitude has been wrong from the very start.
It should not be 2 more months to go... it should be 2 more months left.
It should not be where to go now... it should be where have i not gone yet.
It should not be this place has nice food lets stick to it... it should be lets try something different.
Of course... this is a very text-book answer and its hard to place these intentions in me because there's simply no desire to know more about Hong Kong. What should the right attitude be? Sometimes i feel that im juggling too many new experiences in one shot. Im "supposed" to be experiencing...
1. Living alone
2. Living in a foreign country
3. Working life
4. Working in a foreign country
5. long-distance relationship
6. Culture shock with communication problem
7. Hong Kong Culture
I mean... one of the above alone is exhausting and here i am getting them all simultaneously. You try doing this... and its amazing that after the first 6... you still have the energy to "go out and immerse youself and enjoy"
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