hhmmm

you know the feeling... when you kow you're at the last hour before u catch your sleep to catch you morning paper... you try to cram everything into your brain as fast as you can and you read and re read your notes and your adrenaline pumps and you can feel queasiness in your tummy because you're just working yourslef into a frenzy...

And then when the headache comes from just too much cramming... you stop and think logically... hey i've done what i can.. any additional thing im going to do wouldnt make a difference... and thats when you know you're screwed and then the whole cycle repeats...

And finally when you cant take it anymore and you're back to consoling yourself and telling yourself you should start to sleep... you go ahead and set the alarm to really early in the morning knowing that you wont wake up to study but still insisting on interrupting your sleep by refusing to deactivate the alarm....

such is the torment im going through now... just hours away from my 50% paper... im stressed and scared and really really tired. And scared... i want to do well but know (or think) that i havent prepared enough for my paper... and yet... still not doing anything about it now... because i have done too much and my head hurts and i need a break... a good one... so give me a few minutes more... and i'll try to sleep...

i wanted to blog about how afraid i was and how stressed i was that i have 2 papers and go on whining about my ill-preparations for them... but now that im here, i just dont want to dwell on it... i want to just write until im tired, write until i know that i need to sleep...

thank you SQ for the email u sent out... it was a good comic relief from studying... knew i could always count on you to provide me entertainment whenever i need or dont need one... heh..

thanks Neil for those encouraging words and even though i feel i havent done enough... its nice to know someone has faith that i have... you make me feel confident enough to take it tomorrow! haha... thanks bud...

oh well... its a long day tomorrow... looking forward to the end of it... not just cause thats when the papers ends... but just cause... its a really special day tomorrow... and im going out...

no prizes for guessing with who though =)