Catholic Engage and Encounter Weekend

Jiang and I are going for the Catholic Engage and Encounter weekend soon... in about 2 hours time. Its like a marriage preparation course and honestly..

I'm ambivalent about it... I really do not know how it will turn out. I read reviews and they mentioned people walked away saying how meaningful it was but then they also talked about how much they shared and they cried and they bonded....

I'm scared that when we are supposed to ask each other and talk alot to each other, Jiang and I will just be staring at each other and go.. "uh huh. uh huh" or even worse..*Blank look to each other*

I'm excited that I get Jiang all to myself for 3 days without phone use!

I'm scared that maybe the marriage prep class might throw out things in our face pointing to facts that we may be doing so many things wrongly

I'm excited to think maybe it will just serve to strengthen us and reaffirm that we are meant for each other.

I'm scared that my mood might impact the entire weekend and we might end up quarelling cause its ULTRA PMS week.

I'm scared that this weekend might be an overcharge of emotions which may cloud the logical reasonings we may need. And if there's overblown of emotions, it might make the session seem more meaningful than it truly is.

I'm nervious and what sort of hideous secrets Jiang might uncover about me and then he dowan me anymore.

I'm scared of the bed and the shower. I dont want to sleep in dirty sheets and bathe alone in creaky toilets.

I dont want to put on airs when someone asks me a tough question, which i will do and then i wont realise the full benefit of the activities.

After thinking about all of this... I wonder now... why the hell was I so excited about going for it in the first place?

I'm seriously unsure of what will happen.